First of all, everyone hates Walmart and that’s obvious. It’s because we have some weird guilt complex about it because it’s sort of evil and kills small business and yadda yadda yadda, but we all shop there all the time anyway. Which pisses us off even more because we know we need Walmart more than Walmart needs us, and fuck that.

But anyway.

I went to Walmart about an hour ago to pick up a birthday gift for my sister, who I am leaving to go visit in less than twelve hours. This gift was a Blu-Ray, don’t ask me why because I don’t fucking know. It’s the same as a dvd only it has the added bonus of pretentiousness and if you think it looks different, you’re full of shit. Anyway. I was a Blu-Ray buying douchebag because I love my sister.

And can I just stop and interject here real quick and ask what the fuck it is about Walmart that makes people spend so much goddamn money? I went in to buy one DVD, excuse me, Blu-Ray movie, and ended up coming out with makeup, sheets for a bed I don’t sleep in yet, leave-in conditioner (because the regular kind isn’t pointless enough), etc. What the hell is that about Walmart? Just put the shit I need up front so my lack of self-control doesn’t get exploited.

Anyway.

So I buy all my useless shit, come home, start doing laundry, packing, etc. I take my sister’s movie out of the bag and try to snap the cute little plastic box it’s in off. And then I realize THAT’S A SECURITY DEVICE AND WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T THE ALARM GO OFF. It’s in this stupid little box, like anyone who steals would want to steal a fuckin Blu-Ray, a box which the employees are SUPPOSED TO REMOVE so that the alarm doesn’t go off when you walk out with it. BUT THEY DIDN’T. Oh and can I just say that when I was checking out, there was ONE AISLE OPEN and only three of the four self checkout lanes open?

Long story short, it’s 11:30pm and I have shit to do but now I’m going back to get this stupid movie cage taken off.

What the fuck, Walmart?